{"id":2167,"date":"2016-06-10T11:30:57","date_gmt":"2016-06-10T11:30:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/greydogtales.com\/blog\/?p=2167"},"modified":"2016-06-10T11:30:57","modified_gmt":"2016-06-10T11:30:57","slug":"how-to-make-the-worst-authors-page-ever","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/greydogtales.com\/blog\/how-to-make-the-worst-authors-page-ever\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Make the Worst Author’s Page Ever"},"content":{"rendered":"

If you like greydogtales<\/em>, whether you’re a lurcher or a lesser being, stay with us for a moment. I have truths to tell (quite unusual, really), and I speak as a guy in his late fifties who made an odd decision last year \u2013 it was time I took writing seriously. You can enjoy this as a young whipper-snapper poking fun at an ancient relic, or enjoy it as a seasoned veteran wondering if you left it too late to do what you wanted. I say enjoy, but…<\/p>\n

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we produce all our own memes and ads (you guessed, huh?)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

There was a moment last Summer, probably a Tuesday morning, when this was the Author Page<\/strong> of John Linwood Grant<\/strong><\/span>. I had ambition, a new printer cartridge and plenty of hard-boiled eggs. I think we lasted two, maybe two and half posts before\u00a0 greydogtales<\/em> mutated into an unruly beast which goes where it wants. So much so that if I really wanted to sell books, I’d probably have to start a protest page, complaining that I’d been misrepresented here.<\/p>\n

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the author, trying to pretend he’s not there<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

There is something inherently troublesome in writing about your own writing all the time. I couldn’t even manage it for two weeks (though I salute those who can). So once I found that people liked the kind of weird stuff I like, I couldn’t stop the mutation. We lurched (I use the word quite deliberately) into wild sessions on longdogs, classical authors, and fantastical artists.<\/p>\n

Instead of presenting brief information on my writing career for interested readers, greydogtales<\/em> started offering original content three or four times every week. Metal dog leads, film-makers and audio horror; Middle-Eastern folklore and British folk-horror; bitey-face, comics and contemporary scary tales. We became what we are today – a bit of a cheerful mess. Bizarre posts and the infamous Django with no pants.<\/p>\n

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our key researcher contemplates the next issue<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I’m always amused by the fact that I have no idea what will be popular from week to week. Training your Human<\/em> shot through the roof, but then a piece on post-Lovecraftian fiction did the same a couple of months later. In neither case had I expected it. Sometimes it’s just luck, or one person sharing a post everywhere.<\/p>\n

Despite all this I am a professional writer, producing strange period fiction and dark fantasy, and I have two very strange lurchers (plus an ancient labrador). Which is interesting, considering that the most popular things I’ve written in ten months have actually been:<\/p>\n

    \n
  • Lurchers for Beginners<\/em>, and its various sections, including Training Your Human<\/li>\n
  • The Journal of J Linseed Grant<\/em>, an eccentric recluse recounting\u00a0 his struggle with life and his housekeeper Mrs Gumworthy<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

    “From the journal of J Linseed Grant, 24th<\/sup> May: \u201cThe dogs’ gambling habit is growing worse. The black female now has three collars and most of the food bowls. One of my fountain pens is missing, and I suspect that she is marking the cards.”<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

    Lurchers for Beginners<\/strong> has been a phenomenal and entirely accidental success. Which was not part of The Plan, as I’ve often said. But I notice that other authors have Work In Progress, Reviews<\/em> and New Releases<\/em> sections on their pages. So I’m going to make a feeble attempt to adjust the balance for half a page. Following posts will be up to Django<\/strong> and the research team, or whatever hits us when we’re reading, browsing and out with the dogs.<\/p>\n

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    a surprise hit<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

    Things are going fairly well, which is not a wise thing to say. So ignore that. It’s been a hell of a first ten months or so, and incredibly tiring. Not long before greydogtales<\/em> kicked off, I sent out my first short stories ever which was a strange experience. Since then I’ve put out these stories as free tasters:<\/p>\n

      \n
    • The Intrusion<\/em><\/strong> – Last Edwardian<\/li>\n
    • A Loss of Angels<\/em><\/strong> – Last Edwardian<\/li>\n
    • One Last Sarabande<\/em><\/strong> – Last Edwardian<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
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      coming this summer<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

      And had a sale or a solid nod for the following:<\/p>\n

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      • Grey Dog<\/em><\/strong> – pre-Last Edwardian<\/li>\n
      • A Dark Trade <\/em><\/strong>–\u00a0 pre-Last Edwardian<\/li>\n
      • Hungery<\/em><\/strong> – Young adult fantasy<\/li>\n
      • Lips Shall Speak No More<\/em><\/strong> – Last Edwardian<\/li>\n
      • Messages<\/em> <\/strong>– Lovecraftian<\/li>\n
      • A Stranger Passing Through<\/em><\/strong> – Revenants<\/li>\n
      • A Persistence of Geraniums<\/em><\/strong> – Last Edwardian period<\/li>\n
      • The Jessamine Garden<\/em><\/strong> – Last Edwardian period (in America!)<\/li>\n
      • With the Dark and the Storm<\/em><\/strong> – African Weird\/Lovecraftian<\/li>\n
      • Horseplay<\/em><\/strong> – Yorkshire Wolds Weird<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
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        available now<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

        Plus I wrote the novella A Study in Grey<\/em><\/strong>, the Last Edwardian\/Sherlock Holmes crossover published in April. And I have six or seven more stories under consideration.\u00a0 I wish I was ten years younger just to have the energy to write, maintain greydogtales<\/em> and do all the background things like trying to master social networks. Or maybe even one year younger. I shouldn’t be greedy.<\/p>\n

        What has changed since I was<\/em> young(er) is that you really have to be a one-person marketing division. No-one will get you noticed but yourself. But if you go around saying you’re good, people quite reasonably look dubious. So you have to network, and hope, and be kind. And write hard.<\/p>\n

        A Study in Grey<\/em> has been popular.\u00a0 Going with the failed idea that this is my Author Page, I can offer evidence. Writer Tim Prasil<\/strong>, something of an expert in period psychic tales, says of it:<\/p>\n

        “Grant masterfully weaves together these two seemingly dissonant fictional realms: the \u201cno ghosts need apply\u201d world of Sherlock Holmes and Carnacki\u2019s, where ghosts not only apply \u2014 they prove worthy of the job.”<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

        The review and his excellent ghost-hunting blog can be found here:<\/p>\n

        https:\/\/merryghosthunter.wordpress.com\/2016\/05\/30\/review-john-linwood-grants-a-study-in-gray\/<\/p>\n

        Blogger Matt Cowan<\/strong> was kind enough to review it on his site Horror Delve<\/em>, which covers all sorts of interesting horror-type stuff, saying:<\/p>\n

        “…if you\u2019re in the mood for a mystery involving psychic agents and eerie seances set in Edwardian England, A STUDY IN GREY should be right up your alley.”<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

        A STUDY IN GREY BY JOHN LINWOOD GRANT REVIEW<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n