{"id":4848,"date":"2017-11-26T23:42:56","date_gmt":"2017-11-26T23:42:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/greydogtales.com\/blog\/?p=4848"},"modified":"2017-11-26T23:42:56","modified_gmt":"2017-11-26T23:42:56","slug":"proper-book-review","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/greydogtales.com\/blog\/proper-book-review\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Do a Proper Book Review"},"content":{"rendered":"

Commenting on other people’s books seems easy, doesn’t it?\u00a0 But how do you learn to turn it into a fine art? Serious readers in their countless dozens rely on that acclaimed journal the Wolds Tractor Review<\/em> to analyse and discuss groundbreaking works of horror and speculative fiction. The Review<\/em>, established in 1906, still comes out several Fridays a year, and lines of people can often be seen queueing outside its offices early on those mornings. Sadly, the Post Office moved years ago, and they then have to go elsewhere to collect their pensions.<\/p>\n

\"review\"<\/a><\/p>\n

The book section of the Wolds Tractor Review<\/em> is considered by a number of literary critics to be second only to Which Chicken?<\/em> in its incisive coverage of weird fiction. Placed conveniently at the back of each issue between \u2018Used Sump Oil for Sale\u2019 and \u2018Celeriac \u2013 The Lord\u2019s Gift to the Incontinent\u2019, the book section can run to as many as three column inches some weeks. It\u2019s also the first part of the journal to be grabbed, especially during the dysentery season.<\/p>\n

So why not pick up a few tips from them? Today we\u2019re reprinting extracts from three of the WTR<\/em>\u2019s most influential reviews, some of which shocked a nation (Nepal, we think).<\/p>\n

\n

REVIEW: “When Fish Go Bad”<\/h1>\n

The Shadow Over Innsmouth<\/span> by<\/em> Mr H Lovecraft<\/h3>\n
By<\/em> \u2018Xenophon\u2019, Wolds Tractor Review, June 1943<\/em><\/h6>\n

\"tractor1\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cWe were surprised to discover this American work, an expose of the declining tourist trade at our once-great seaside towns. Mr Lovecraft highlights the problems of inadequate regional transport, poor customer service and alcoholism, including an investigation into shabby hotel accommodation.<\/p>\n

“Despite the honest attempts of local fishing folk to scrape a living, Innsmouth Town Council has utterly failed to consider such possibilities as a sea-life centre, amusements or a historic trail. Nor have they encouraged hot-dog stands or ice-cream sellers, with the consequent fall-off in visitors.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe investigator is ill-equipped to deal with seaside activities at any level, seeking advice from the town drunk rather than Tourist Information, and criticising local dress habits. During this process, as a \u2018townie\u2019, he upsets the Innsmouth inhabitants, who seek to chastise him for his prejudiced view of coastal life. We confess that we did not entirely understand the ending, which seems to imply that the young man relented and was considering some sort of diving school as a way to re-establish the town\u2019s fortunes.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe author displays his usual interest in everyone breeding with everyone else, regardless of family relationship, suitability or even species. Due to some prurient element remaining to him, he neglects to provide any useful information on gestation periods, anatomical details or best veterinary practice, and so we regret that the text is of no practical use in the Wolds.<\/p>\n

“As for style, Mr Lovecraft is a lustrous and unashamed admirer of the adjective, a quality which has so far proved extremely useful to us in several office crosswords.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n

REVIEW: “A Ring at the Door”<\/h1>\n

The Lord of the Rings<\/span> by Mr J Tolkien<\/h3>\n
By<\/em> \u2018Alcibiades\u2019, Wolds Tractor Review, December 1955<\/em><\/h6>\n

\"tractor1\"<\/a><\/h3>\n

\u201cA potential masterpiece, sadly marred by repeated references to an uninspiring race of stunted, self-absorbed gluttons. Despite the availability of high quality aquiline transport systems, or the fact that most of the journey could have been done via coastal shipping routes, several of these rural dunces undertake an unfeasible ramble across the most dangerous terrain they can find. Along the way they are greeted with joy by numerous peoples who have apparently never met anyone short. We must assume that Mr Tolkien suffered at the hands of taller boys in his school-days, and that they regularly raided his tuck box.<\/p>\n

\u201cOver many pages, during which many noble and ancient things die or are severely diminished, we are treated to some unlikely spectacles, such as a nation of horsemen deciding that their best career move would be to charge elephants (an action which proves to be unnecessary anyway). Shortly after, all evil is vanquished by setting fire to some jewellery.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe world is left in the hands of a group of unrepentant (and shockingly uncritical) monarchists, who make it clear that no one should visit Gluttonland unless forced to by diplomatic obligations. Most of the remaining noble and ancient things run away, presumably\u00a0 relieved to\u00a0 get out of there.<\/p>\n

“We quite liked the character Saruman, who seemed to be one of the only people who knew what he was doing, but neither he nor any of his assistants made explicit mention of tractors.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n

REVIEW: “A Blue-Eyed Boy”<\/h1>\n

Dune<\/span> by Mr F Herbert<\/h3>\n
By<\/em> \u2018Xenophon\u2019, Wolds Tractor Review, October 1965<\/em><\/h6>\n

\"tractor1\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cThis stirring epic might have been a useful resource for those already gardening on a light, sandy soil, and thus aware of the need for long-term planning and special nutritional needs. It is a shame that the characters have limited agricultural experience, and appear to belong to another work entirely, something about feuding medieval families who discover that little-known Arabic neighbours with better-fitting suits have been hiding on their allotments.<\/p>\n

\u201cIn brief, a member of the aristocracy moves to a planet only suited to large scale carrot cultivation. Once established there, after several drug-induced episodes he\u00a0 decides to call himself after a rat and destroy the order of known society, during which process he gets worms. This is a surprisingly British touch from Mr Herbert, which he follows up on by including mention of nuns, wet towels, poor dental work and the opportunistic marrying of princesses.<\/p>\n

\u201cA substantial volume, it may appeal to both ecologically-minded students and those who are too stoned to know what day it is. However, the book falls short in delivering the necessary details about spice harvesting for novices, with no mention of yield per acre, use of pesticides against spice beetles etc. It is therefore of little value to the farming community.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe must add that the scene where harvesters are lifted from their work is clearly modelled on an incident near Malton during the storms of 1963, when an RAF rescue helicopter was required to assist Mrs Martha Guthrie* of Spleen Beck Farm, whose potato fields had flooded. We stop short of claiming plagiarism, though astute readers can see the original for themselves in our bumper Christmas issue for that year.\u201d<\/p>\n

*The reviewer \u2018Xenophon\u2019 was revealed in 1978 to be Mrs Martha Guthrie.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Commenting on other people’s books seems easy, doesn’t it?\u00a0 But how do you learn to turn it into a fine art? Serious readers in their countless dozens rely on that acclaimed journal the Wolds Tractor Review to analyse and discuss groundbreaking works of horror and speculative fiction. The Review, established in 1906, still comes out … Continue reading How to Do a Proper Book Review<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"iawp_total_views":3,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4848","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Do a Proper Book Review - greydogtales<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/greydogtales.com\/blog\/proper-book-review\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Do a Proper Book Review - greydogtales\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Commenting on other people’s books seems easy, doesn’t it?\u00a0 But how do you learn to turn it into a fine art? 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Or do you just see a huge night-black, slightly psychotic pony\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/greydogtales.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/botolph11-212x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3776,"url":"https:\/\/greydogtales.com\/blog\/whither-john-linwood-grant\/","url_meta":{"origin":4848,"position":1},"title":"WHITHER JOHN LINWOOD GRANT?","author":"greydogtales","date":"March 8, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"I don't usually let me (John Linwood Grant, in case you'd already forgotten) onto these pages. It gets boring, and I prefer talking about lurchers or other jolly creative people. But I'm at a difficult age, and the alternative is painting the kitchen ceiling, so I thought I'd have a\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"a candid shot of the author","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/greydogtales.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/author-262x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2167,"url":"https:\/\/greydogtales.com\/blog\/how-to-make-the-worst-authors-page-ever\/","url_meta":{"origin":4848,"position":2},"title":"How to Make the Worst Author’s Page Ever","author":"greydogtales","date":"June 10, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"If you like greydogtales, whether you're a lurcher or a lesser being, stay with us for a moment. I have truths to tell (quite unusual, really), and I speak as a guy in his late fifties who made an odd decision last year \u2013 it was time I took writing\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"author\"","block_context":{"text":"author","link":"https:\/\/greydogtales.com\/blog\/tag\/author\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"greyad1","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/greydogtales.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/greyad1-300x199.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3316,"url":"https:\/\/greydogtales.com\/blog\/wild-weird-fiction-things-come\/","url_meta":{"origin":4848,"position":3},"title":"Wild and Weird Fiction: Things to Come","author":"greydogtales","date":"November 28, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Welcome, dear listener. We're all scraps and fancies today. John Linwood Grant speaks to YOU, and coming up in the next few weeks we should have Edith Nesbit's Amazing Flying Machine; a feature and interview with Nicole Petit, fantasy author and editor of After Avalon, a post-Arthurian anthology; more of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"weird fiction\"","block_context":{"text":"weird fiction","link":"https:\/\/greydogtales.com\/blog\/tag\/weird-fiction\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"51aevulwayl","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/greydogtales.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/51aevUlwayL-225x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3829,"url":"https:\/\/greydogtales.com\/blog\/st-botolphs-study-folk-madness\/","url_meta":{"origin":4848,"position":4},"title":"St Botolph’s – A Study in Folk Madness","author":"greydogtales","date":"March 24, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Today, dear listener, we bow to both popular and unpopular demand, and offer you a brief excursion to the parish of St Botolph-in-the-Wolds, in darkest Yorkshire. A location of which H P Lovecraft once said: \u201cI shall no doubt have to tone this benighted place down if I want to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"folk horror\"","block_context":{"text":"folk horror","link":"https:\/\/greydogtales.com\/blog\/tag\/folk-horror\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"botolph2","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/greydogtales.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/botolph2-212x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2786,"url":"https:\/\/greydogtales.com\/blog\/2786\/","url_meta":{"origin":4848,"position":5},"title":"Whale-road, Horse-road: The Wolds Again","author":"greydogtales","date":"September 8, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"The sullen, lead-coloured weight of the North Sea and the strangenesses of the Yorkshire Wolds still press on me every so often. And when it comes to writing there are at least three sides to every coin. So I have a number of strands when I write about the land\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"selwick","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/greydogtales.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/selwick3-225x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/greydogtales.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4848","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/greydogtales.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/greydogtales.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greydogtales.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greydogtales.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4848"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/greydogtales.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4848\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4852,"href":"https:\/\/greydogtales.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4848\/revisions\/4852"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/greydogtales.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4848"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greydogtales.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4848"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greydogtales.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4848"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}