Disquiet Considered as A Helix of Semi-Precious Stories

Today, something for almost everyone – a forthcoming M R James project, an unusual recent horror anthology, and a collection of dashing occult detective adventures. We are, dear listener, always staggering  and a bit exhausted at this time of year, so feel free to skip around in the chaos below…


WHISTLE AND I’LL CHECK YOUR DICE ROLL, LAD

First, then, a quick nod to a role-playing game drawing on the themes and tropes in the stories of M R James. Casting The Runes is a new game of occult investigation, coming from The Design Mechanism in 2020, conceived of and written by author and journalist Paul St.John Mackintosh.

We are admittedly fond of old Monty, and do tease him with our tragic parodies when the mood takes us:

It could never be said of Mr Pillington that he exhibited the slightest interest in an invigorating stroll – or even that he would stir himself as far as the cathedral close on foot should a hansom to be had, if truth be told. That his young photographically-minded friend Emmanuel Treves had persuaded him to contemplate a walking holiday through Suffolk was therefore an astonishment to many in Buntlebury.

“It is… quite a large county,” Mr Pillington’s landlady confided, whilst measuring starch for her lodger’s collars. “Quite large indeed.”

Mr Pillington made no reply, for his mind was aswim with the visions which young Treves had placed before him. Ancient and curious mounds which had barely been catalogued by the Suffolk Archaeological Society; quaint parish churches which held certain inscriptions, each a warning to the inquisitive or simply the rather bored, and most of all, the bookshops of Suffolk. These, Treves assured him, held numerous folios of considerable arcane import, obscure yet canonical gospels, rare unexpurgated copies of the Scrapbook of Solomon, and so much more.

And thus it was, despite all protestations and glimmers of commonsense, that Mr Pillington and his companion left Buntlebury equipped only with an oddly inscribed whistle, a marvellously wrought figure of a cat from the cathedral pulpit, a stone carved with seven and a half eyes, a pair of rather heavy binoculars, and a sheet for any spare bed they might encounter.

“For indeed,” said Mr Pillington to the bemused station-master as they waited for the train to East Bergholt, “What harm can befall us? Why, I have seen the most charming mezzotint of the old manor house which will be our ‘base camp’, as you old soldiers might call it – and scarce any of the figures depicted thereon showed the slightest sign of having murdered any children…”

In the distant past we played, and ran many campaigns in, various different role-playing games, until the sheer time commitment and the practicalities of gathering older, working gamers became too much hard work. One of the pleasures was in trying out new systems, and shifting backgrounds from the classic high fantasy of Dragonquest and Powers & Perils, through science fiction such as Space Opera, to horror games such as Call of Cthulhu. Would we have wanted to play in the world of M R James back then? Probably not. For this has to be a realm of disquiet, subtlety, understatement and painstaking research, and when we were young, we wanted to smite things.

Nowadays, however, this idea has far more appeal. Mackintosh is an accomplished writer of strange fictions; he has a strong literary background, an understanding of the borderlands, and has put much effort into the necessary period issues, being a Jamesian enthusiast himself, so this all looks promising. From the Introduction:

“Casting the Runes is a roleplaying game (RPG) based on the GUMSHOE system for investigative RPGs, which was created by Robin Laws under the auspices of Pelgrane Press to model “stories where investigators uncover a series of clues, and interpret them to solve a mystery” – an apt description of much of the classic horror fiction of Montague Rhodes James (1862-1936). The unique character of James’s stories, and his own personality, which fed into his creation of the sub-genre of the “antiquarian ghost story,” are what inspired us to create this game.

“Here, player-characters, dubbed “Investigators” for game purposes, proceed step by step to unearth the unearthly, under the guidance of Game Masters, or GMs for short. (Some James fans may prefer to designate their GMs as Masters in keeping with many Edwardian schools and colleges.)

“The classic ghost story, replete with “malevolence and terror, the glare of evil faces, ‘the stony grin of unearthly malice,’ pursuing forms in darkness, and ‘long-drawn, distant screams’,” in James’s words, is the mood we’re aiming at. And for the occult detection element, read on…”

Release of the game is to be supported by a Kickstarter campaign in January 2020. You can download an excellent preview pdf which tells you loads more about the game here:

casting the runes free preview

Further news and updates will be found at: https://thedesignmechanism.com


THERE WERE GIANTS IN THOSE DAYS, BUT IT’S OK, WE SHOT ‘EM

 

Onto the December release of Joshua M Reynold’s new collection, Monmouth’s Giants (18thWall, 2019), Volume One in the Case Files of the Royal Occultist. A number of readers may be familiar with the Royal Occultist – a position rather than a person – and with the many stories of Charles St Cyprian and his assistant Ebe Gallowglass. This collection starts, appropriately, with the first chronological tale of St Cyprian, who eventually becomes apprenticed to the Royal Occultist of the time (Thomas Carnacki), and is later the post-holder himself. Josh once said of him:

“Charles St. Cyprian is Rudolph Valentino by way of P.G. Wodehouse’s Bertie Wooster—impeccably dressed, hand-some, and a bit of a twit. He is a slim man in his late twenties, with an inordinate fondness for the sartorial creations of Savile Row…”

But he’s not that much of a twit, in reality – he has his dark and cunning moments as well. These stories are always a great read. If St Cyprian brings style, wit and knowledge of the occult, Gallowglass brings obstinacy, inventiveness and her range of large-bore weaponry. They’re quite the pair, and there’s a very interesting note hidden away in the book:

‘Fane of the Black Queen’ was written specifically for this collection, as a way of tying up Nephren-Ka’s story in suitably epic fashion. This story is also the first Gallowglass-centric story in the series. She’s a harder edged character than St. Cyprian, and less prone to explaining things, which noticeably changes the tone of things. There are fewer jokes, and more deaths. Foreshadowing, perhaps, as to what her tenure as Royal Occultist will be like…

Monmouth’s Giants contains thirteen stories, with five being new in print for the collection – ‘The Charnel Hounds’, ‘The Faceless Fiend’, ‘Wendy-Smythe’s Worm’, ‘Deo Viridio’ and ‘Fane of the Black Queen’. A jolly good catch for the winter nights, and unlikely to disappoint.

on amazon uk

on amazon us

You can also go straight to the 18thWall Productions site:

https://18thwall.com/

The late Sam Gafford and greydog had the pleasure of publishing Josh’s Royal Occultist stories a number of times – the title story appeared in Sam’s Carnacki: The New Adventures, whilst together we published the adventures ‘Orbis Tertius’, ‘Terror on the Links’ and ‘The Bascomb Rug’ in Occult Detective Quarterly (now Occult Detective Magazine). A new St Cyprian and Gallowglass tale should also be appearing in next year’s anthology Sherlock Holmes and the Occult Detectives, edited by John Linwood Grant, from Belanger Books.

Greydogtales interviewed Josh here:

http://greydogtales.com/blog/joshua-reynolds-royal-occultist-with-a-warhammer/


UNDER A WORRYING MOON

Back to disquiet, though not generally in a Jamesian sense. Our final mention is of an anthology that we haven’t had time to finish, and yet which offers such promise that we had to include it. Nox Pareidolia (Nightscape, 2019), edited by Robert S Wilson,  is the sort of wide-ranging anthology which reminds us why we read weird fiction, and probably why some other people don’t – a massive collection of challenging yet rewarding tales.

Nox Pareidolia has no earnest introduction about ‘the field’, nor any authors’ notes. This is fitting. Many of the tales inside are illusory, elusive, and deliver no final judgement. There are stories which will rightly wow some readers, and stories which sit on that odd edge of simply being curious.

It’s the nature of the vehicle – a train you ride to see what turns up on the journey, not one to get you to a comfy hotel where you can put your toothbrush down neatly next to the complimentary soap. Were there any such destination in Nox Pareidolia, the place would be long abandoned, your room a gaping maw of inconsistencies, and the soap would stare at you as it writhed and rotted in the basin… hang on, what were we saying? Blimey, that gin was strong…

The contents page itself gives you a feel for what you might have in store – strange tales of disquiet and misleading perceptions, by talented contemporary authors:

  • WATCH ME BURN WITH THE LIGHT OF GHOSTS by Paul Jessup
  • IMMOLATION by Kristi DeMeester
  • HER EYES ARE WINTER by Christopher Ropes
  • 8X10 by Duane Pesice and Don Webb
  • BAG AND BAGGAGE by Greg Sisco
  • THE DREDGER by Matt Thompson
  • HELLO by Michael Wehunt
  • GARDENING ACTIVITIES FOR COUPLES by Alvaro Zinos-Amaro
  • LIES I TOLD MYSELF by Lynne Jamneck
  • THE UNKINDNESS by Dino Parenti
  • MERGE NOW by Kurt Fawver
  • when we were trespassers by doungjai gam
  • RUM PUNCH IS GOING DOWN by Daniel Braum
  • UNMOORED by Sean M. Thompson
  • JUST BEYOND THE SHORE by Elizabeth Beechwood
  • THE SCHOOLMASTER by David Peak
  • THE PAST YOU HAVE, THE FUTURE YOU DESERVE by K.H. Vaughan
  • HERR SCHEINTOD by LC von Hessen
  • THE ROOM ABOVE by Brian Evenson
  • SINCERELY EDEN by Amelia Gorman
  • WILD DOGS by Carrie Laben
  • THE MOODY ROOMS OF AGATHA TATE by Wendy Nikel
  • SALMON RUN by Andrew Kozma
  • THE LITTLE DRAWER FULL OF CHAOS by Annie Neugebauer
  • WHEN THE NIGHTINGALE DEVOURS THE STARS by Gwendolyn Kiste
  • FAR FROM HOME by Dan Coxon
  • BIRDS by Zin E. Rocklyn
  • STRIDENT CALLER by Laird Barron
  • THE TASTE OF ROT by Steve Toase
  • VENOM by S.P. Miskowski
  • IN THE VASTNESS OF THE SOVEREIGN SKY by S.L. Edwards

That title may help, as well. Pareidolia: the tendency for incorrect perception of a stimulus as an object, pattern or meaning known to the observer, such as seeing shapes in clouds, seeing faces in inanimate objects or abstract patterns, or hearing hidden messages in music.

And so with Nox, you have a night (or many nights, because this is a hefty anthology) of something which was once identified with psychosis. The disturbed and disturbing relationships between reality – if there is such a thing – and perception. Of some of the randomly picked stories we have read so far, we can at least tease:

‘Unmoored’ by Sean M Thompson is a flutter of true disquiet, even of fear, if you’ve ever known anyone whose mind is failing due to dementia, and wondered what that meant for the You that is, and the You that might be to come. It’s probably among the most worrying stories in the book, not because it takes you to strange imagined landscapes, but because it sits you in the living room, next to the framed photographs, and then it shreds you. Being so personal, it lingers.

S L Edwards delivers ‘In The Vastness Of The Sovereign Sky’, a politically-sourced narrative which this time concentrates less on the explicit horror of the broader politics and explores more the internal world of the protagonist, to provide a particularly effective ending. One of his best.

Gwendolyn Kiste delivers… Gwendolyn Kiste, which is more than some writers achieve in a lifetime. ‘When The Nightingale Devours The Stars’ is a slice of inexplicable events and explicable emotions, demonstrating once again her ability to build warped and wonderful bridges between the two.

Laird Barron’s ‘Strident Caller’ is blunt, brutal and very effective; Michael Wehunt swims into far different waters with a complex and fascinating piece, ‘Hello’, which plays with the reader, the genre, and social media. From a lesser writer it would be a enjoyable, referential conceit; from Wehunt, it achieves a heightened and serious complexity which weaves together Lionel Ritchie songs (yes, really), invented – or discovered? – fragments of fiction, and then other living horror writers, in order to break down all walls. The more grounded in real life the story becomes, the less you can be sure of reality:

“But at the same time there’s the feeling that I’m a writer being written—a man’s depiction of a female horror author, with the thoughts he would ascribe to her. It’s the softest tingle on my skin, the softest catch in the throat when I breathe…”

Intricate, disturbing and well worth reading.

Oh, and Nox Pareidolia is fully illustrated with numerous striking plates by Luke Spooner, enhancing the mood even more. If you want to know what’s really going on in weird fiction, you should go get this book.

on amazon uk

on amazon us

Nightscape Books are also running a special offer on their books until the end of the year (probably most useful for our North American listeners):

nightscape press



We shall certainly return on and off over the winter break, though if there’s good walking weather for the doggies, we might have to make the best of that as well…

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BERT COULES – THE CONFESSIONS OF A DRAMATIST

“I did sometimes find myself bolstering up a weaker story or two by doing something a little bit tricksy with them.”

Blimey, guv’nor, here’s a treat, and no mistake. Today we offer a wealth of musings on Sherlock Holmes, audio dramas, working with Clive Merrison,  the demands of radio, freelancing, and even the dark arts of Holmes pastiche, in a special guest interview with writer Bert Coules. And for those who sniff at Victorian consulting detectives, we can add that Bert has been involved in many other audio wonders, from the Max Carrados stories and Brother Cadfael to Asimov’s Caves of Steel, so don’t run away, now…

This fine chap is a true Sherlockian hero, for he and the BBC managed to create something unparalleled – the only complete adaptation of the entire canon of Sherlock Holmes stories with the same Holmes and Watson (Clive Merrison and Michael Williams).

It is no secret that crumbling greydog has written Holmes tales both canonical and profane, with modest success – but such scribbles pale beside the mighty tasks undertaken by Mr Coules. Given the opportunity to interview him, we unleashed a barrage of all sorts, and he responded in cracking form. Which is what you might expect from someone who is a dean of the spoken word. Or a doyen, or a don, that sort of thing.

He has experience of being a recording engineer, sound-effects technician, script reader and producer-director, and in case you didn’t know, has also worked on TV and stage projects. His first script, a 45 minute drama-documentary called ‘Wagner in Hell’, about the composer’s disastrous visit to London in the 1850s, was produced in 1977. Twenty years later he proposed a treatment of a Conan Doyle novel, and the rest is radio history. Over to Bert…

BERT COULES

CONFESSIONS OF A DRAMATIST

bert coules

Greydog: Bert, thank you so much for joining us at greydogtales. You are legendary here for your Holmes work, though as we’ll mention below, you have many more strings to your radio bow. We won’t bother you with biographical stuff, as we like to get straight to the meat – or soya – of the matter. So, first off, let’s talk Conan Doyle. We believe that as far as Holmes goes, you started with A Study in Scarlet, broadcast in 1989. Was that pure chance, just one of those jobs that turned up, or was it something you were eager to do anyway?

BC: Soya? Actually, it was earlier than that: in 1987 I pitched the idea of doing The Hound of the Baskervilles as a one-off. It was a “what do I have to lose?” sort of move: I’d loved the story and the characters since I was a kid so I had that enthusiasm going for me and the Beeb hadn’t done any Holmes for more than ten years which was also a plus, but I was pretty new as a writer and didn’t think for a moment that they would go for it, so I was amazed when I got the job.

We had Roger Rees as Holmes and Crawford Logan as Watson and the show was very successful, with good audience figures and some very positive feedback, so the producer-director David Johnston and I suggested a follow-up project: the first two novels in the sequence, A Study in Scarlet and The Sign of the Four. It took an age for the decision to be made, and when it was, there was both good news and bad: I had the commission but we had to recast the two leads. That brought us Clive Merrison and Michael Williams as the detective and the doctor, and eventually led to our doing all fifty-six short stories and four novels.

Greydog: Adapting and recording the entire canon is an astonishing achievement, one which took, what, a decade or so? Presumably you had no idea at the start, that this would grow from a handful of radio plays into such a monumental project?

BC: From the first words spoken in the studio to the last, recording the lot took eight years, seven months, two weeks, three days and just under nine hours. Not that I was obsessive about keeping track or anything. After Study and Sign I suggested a six-part series of the strongest of the short stories; again it took months until I heard back, and it was then I learned that my idea had grown a tad: I still don’t know who it was at the Corporation who actually thought of it, but it was a brave decision. The one slightly less than positive outcome – and it was only a small one and the alternative would probably have killed me – was that I wasn’t going to be the only writer.

At that stage I had no idea how that would work out, but in the event I became the head of a small and varying team, acting as (unpaid, sadly) script editor as well as writing the majority of the episodes, so overall it sort of remained my show, which was pleasing. Not that I’d ever want to downplay everyone else’s contributions: a huge number of people, writers, producers, directors, technical teams, production assistants, actors, musicians, and more besides, all made the programmes the success they were.

Greydog: How did you feel after this extended marathon – elated, exhausted, relieved to be able to move on? Were you as weary of Holmes by then as Conan Doyle became (“I think of slaying Holmes… and winding him up for good and all. He takes my mind from better things.”)?

BC: As a self-employed freelance, one of my principal feelings was quite simply that a long-term regular source of income had come to an end: I found myself wondering if there were any similar lengthy series of books available to mine that might prove equally (or almost equally) as productive. But of course I was proud and pleased that we’d managed to carry it off and pretty well too: the first time it had ever been done, in any medium.

I’d always managed to interleave the shows with a decent range of others – comedy, science fiction, horror, and non-genre pieces as well as other crime and detective stuff – so no I wasn’t suffering from Holmes-and-Watson overload, fortunately so in view of what was to come.

Greydog: We can’t say that we’re neutral. Your adaptations are excellent (we have a huge pile of the old audio cassettes).

BC: They’re still available as CDs and downloads (forgive the plug).

Greydog: Of course, and we suspect our cassette collection needs updating, as it’s getting hard to get a pencil in the little spools. Of course, Clive Merrison’s performance as Holmes is superb, and scarcely matched on radio or in any visual media. And we agree with another commentator that Michael Williams was “quite simply the best Watson there has ever been, in any medium”.

BC: No argument from me on either of those points. To give performances that nuanced and involving with just the voice is a rare and rather wonderful skill.

courtesy of bert coules

Greydog: Did you work with Clive and Michael at all on their interpretation of the characters, or was it simply a felicitous marriage of your scripts and their theatrical talents?

BC: I was a bit fanatical in the early days about how the duo should be played. Looking back at the first scripts I’m a little embarrassed to see that I went rather overboard with my character notes for the two leads: they were well on the way to being semi-scholarly essays, going into details about the state of the guys’ relationship at the time of each particular story, what else was going on in the world around the same date, that sort of thing. But in fact both actors were kind enough to say that it was useful to them.

The first shows were written before any casting had been done, and as with any long-running enterprise, the actors’ own personalities and what they brought to their characters began fairly quickly to influence the scripting: I came to write not just my idea of Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes and John Watson, but my concept moulded and enhanced by Clive Merrison and Michael Williams’ own personal interpretations. This was hugely valuable.

Greydog: How much involvement did you have on the day in the recording studio. We understand writers are usually to hand during recording. Is that more of a ‘reassuring presence’ role, or have you ever had to do an emergency rewrite of a line, for example, or abandon part of a scene?

BC: One of the great joys of working with the BBC’s radio drama department is the value that’s placed on the writer, who’s treated as an integral and vital member of the team throughout almost the whole of the production process. So quite apart from pre-production work on the scripts, I was always consulted about casting, about the choice of music, and so on. And I was always in the studios for the recording sessions. I’ve no idea if anyone found my presence reassuring though, and actually I rather suspect that I was sometimes regarded rather differently, since I wasn’t exactly a quiet and detached observer: I was far too fond of sticking my oar in on matters of interpretation and other things more properly the sole province of the producer-directors. I remain massively grateful to them for putting up with me.

Rewrites on the go are almost always necessary. The scripts only really come alive when the words are lifted off the page, and things can suddenly be revealed which escaped attention in the preliminary discussions: a line can prove tricky to say, a vital plot point can turn out to have been neglected, wording that looked fine on paper can throw up ambiguities when spoken aloud, that sort of thing.

And the time constraints are ever-present: a production assistant has the extremely skilful task of keeping track of timings, charting if individual scenes or sequences are proving to be longer or shorter than estimated, and calculating the probable overall duration. Cuts, and sometimes entire new scenes, have to be come up with, and that’s the writer’s job. I’ve missed a few tea breaks, stuck sitting in a corner of the studio scribbling away.

Greydog: One thing we hear in your versions is the addition of more emotional depth to the main characters. They remain canonical and true to the subject matter, but there are moments of anger or affection which are only thinly portrayed in the originals. Are these put in purely in order to give a more rounded feel for the audio listeners, or are they the ‘Coules’ touch, drawn from how you relate to the text personally?

BC: Both. Not only is that sort of dimension expected and welcomed by audiences now, I do see a depth in the tales which is sometimes not acknowledged, and I’ve always felt that they’re more than simply whodunnit puzzle pieces: for me the friendship between the two men is at least as central as the cases and the investigations. When it was first decided to embark on the complete canon the question arose of how long the short-story episodes should be: the spaces available in the schedules were thirty minutes or forty five and I argued for the longer slots. It gave everything the space to breath and the writers the chance to get beyond and a bit beneath the basic plots. And of course the actors and producer-directors brought new dimensions of their own.

Greydog: It’s always fun to listen to your adaptations and spot where you’ve developed or reworked certain aspects. Perhaps the most notable example is your ‘His Last Bow’, which (to be honest) we prefer to the original.

BC: Thank you.

Greydog: There is a poignancy and a weariness, coupled with your re-framing to have Watson more involved, and characters express both fear and anger concerning the horrors of the coming war. Watson is particularly powerful in that regard.

BC: “That’s great: you’ve given Watson some balls.” (Clive Merrison)

Greydog: Absolutely. Stamford makes a return appearance from the early days, and you even include the historical figure of Captain Vernon Kell of Military Intelligence, effectively the founder of MI5. Did you worry about making such major changes?

BC: The overall brief for the project was to be “imaginatively faithful”. I thought that was a marvellous way to look at what needed to be done. What was paramount was to stay true to the spirit of the originals: drama and written fiction have very different needs, and what works well on the printed page is by no means always appropriate in another medium. It does no favours to an author to give actors long stretches of literary dialogue or narration if the excitement and colour found in the original context is lost. It can actually be more faithful to change things – to capture the atmosphere and the emotion in a different way – than not to change them.

There’s also the point, made in an interview by the great TV writer Alan Plater when he dramatised one of the stories for the Jeremy Brett TV series, of needing to fill the time slot. I don’t recall the exact words but I vividly remember him saying something like, “The Solitary Cyclist contains about six minutes’ worth of action: of course I had to make stuff up”. The trick is to make it relevant and interesting stuff, not just padding.

Greydog: And which story – if you can remember – was the easiest to adapt, the one which needed least reworking to suit the medium?

BC: I’m tempted to say that none of them was actually easy, but The Hound of the Baskervilles – which I dramatised twice because I didn’t want simply to reuse my early version – had one of the most linear and dramatic structures. And of course it’s among the strongest of the tales: I did sometimes find myself bolstering up a weaker story or two by doing something a little bit tricksy with them.

Greydog: The original Holmes stories, the canon, have been supplemented by thousands of pastiches, homages and parodies, from as far back as when Conan Doyle was still writing Holmes himself. You yourself added fifteen ‘authentic’ tales, which the press described as ‘A joy from beginning to end… ingenious extensions of the Conan Doyle originals’. Do you read other people’s canonical pastiches, such as those in the ever-growing collection of anthologies from MX Publishing and Belanger Books?

BC: I suspect that virtually every devotee of Holmes and Watson has sought out (or created for themselves) stories beyond the canon, and I’m no exception: I’ve been lucky enough to be paid to do the creating and I’ve always done the reading for the pleasure of it. From the earliest efforts through Adrian Conan Doyle and John Dickson Carr’s 1954 collection The Exploits of Sherlock Holmes to the very latest MX Publishing anthology, I love a good pastiche.

the entire set

Greydog: How do you feel about more wayward interpretations? We have Holmes and his young female apprentice; Holmes against Lovecraftian horrors and so forth, not to mention explicitly supernatural and steampunk settings. Is Holmes such an icon that he’s fair game?

BC: I think that he (and Watson) are perfectly fair game, yes. I can enjoy what DC Comics used rather splendidly to label “imaginary stories”, which use the characters but not in their normal world (sometimes literally so) as long as those characters remain true even when the settings don’t. Again, it’s preserving the spirit that matters. But having said that, a truly audacious step away from Doyle can be entertaining – and enlightening – too if approached by a reader in the right frame of mind. I know that I’m not alone among Sherlockians in admiring the sheer nerve of Michael Dibdin’s novel The Last Sherlock Holmes Story, but I also know that we’re in a distinct minority.

Greydog: And as we’re followed by quite a lot of Holmes enthusiasts, we have to ask if you have an absolute favourite – short story or novel – from the original canon?

BC: As a writer I couldn’t allow myself that luxury. But as a reader I tend to have a fondness for some of the perhaps less well-regarded entries, not always for the piece as a whole but for some wonderful detail within it. ‘The Yellow Face’ is a favourite.

ADVENTURES IN OTHER WORLDS

 

Greydog: Now, it would take a lot of time to delve into your many other radio adaptations. A notable one is perhaps your Wizard of Earthsea (finally released in 1996) with Judi Dench as narrator, which is now sadly hard to find. And we were surprised to find that you also adapted the classic ‘Flowers for Algernon’, the moving science fiction story by Daniel Keyes. Which, of all your non-Holmes audio projects over the years, brings you the most satisfaction?

BC: It’s interesting that you mention examples from fantasy and science fiction. Both of those genres were, at the time, extremely hard sells: Beeb radio retained a definite aura of literary worthiness and genre material was quite a way down their desirability list. I was extremely pleased when I managed to sell the main drama department a feature-length dramatisation of Isaac Asimov’s The Caves of Steel but unfortunately things returned to normal when I couldn’t interest them in any of the sequels.

Greydog: You seem to have had an abiding interest in science fiction through your career…

BC: Yes indeed, fuelled in my extreme youth by Dan Dare, Pilot of the Future, in the Eagle comic, and some wonderful SF on radio in the days when it could be found in relative abundance.

Greydog: Happy days – we grew up on Dan Dare and the Trigan Empire. And we believe you’re also a Dr Who enthusiast?

BC: Very much so. If Chris Chibnall is reading this, I’m available and at very reasonable rates.

Greydog:We also wondered if you were familiar with William Hope Hodgson’s Carnacki the Ghost Finder stories, from the Edwardian period. The revival of WHH and Carnacki has been a hobbyhorse here for some years, and Dan Starkey gave a superb audio performance as Carnacki* not long ago. Surprisingly, there are more stories written in homage to Carnacki the Ghost Finder than there are of any other Victorian or Edwardian detective – save for Sherlock Holmes. Hence our tongue-in-cheek recognition of Carnacki as the second Great Detective.

BC: Beyond the names, I don’t know anything about the character or the author: I must rectify that, thanks.

Greydog: In the same sort of quirky areas, you’ve adapted Ernest Bramah’s The Eyes of Max Carrados (the blind detective), and Houdini’s A Magician Amongst the Spirits. This latter is of added curiosity because Houdini undertook his own detective work to expose fraudulent mediums, whilst Conan Doyle was desperate to believe in spiritualism. Do you read supernatural literature?

BC: A Magician wasn’t a dramatisation, it was an original piece. I just pinched the title of Houdini’s non-fiction work. It was the first ninety-minute play I ever sold and it went out in the old Saturday Night Theatre slot, which was regarded as a sort of rite of passage for a radio writer. The supernatural has long fascinated me, yes. It pains me when I see Doyle’s beliefs belittled, which still happens: spiritualism was a crucial and central part of his life and should be treated seriously. I was very pleased with the way actors John Bott and Barry Dennen handled Doyle and Houdini in A Magician.

Greydog: Now we have to see if we can find a copy of that. You’ll have gathered that at greydogtales we wander around the niches of supernatural, disturbing and detective fiction fairly randomly, shifting between late Victorian pieces and contemporary weird without much thought. Our hearts are often lodged somewhere in Edwardian times. Given that you’ve adapted everything from Brother Cadfael to the far-flung futures of Isaac Asimov, do you have a ‘comfort’ period when you settle down with a book for pleasure, rather than work?

BC: No, not really: for recreation I happily read almost anything and everything, fictional and otherwise. On the go at the moment I have a book about the textual changes in the first three published versions of Hamlet, a biography of the remarkable Lilian Baylis, founder of the Old Vic theatre and the Royal Ballet, and a newly-published Sherlock Holmes pastiche.

Greydog: Finally, is there any recent or forthcoming work of yours that you’d like to mention? And are there audio mountains you still wish to climb?

BC: They’re not audio but I have two current projects in hand which both arose from radio work: Lost Empires, a stage version of J B Priestley’s wonderful novel about the decline of the music halls and the onset of the first world war, and 221B, a Holmes and Watson TV series which takes the characters and their world right back to the Victorian-period originals. The Priestley has been staged in London and on tour in a tremendous student production but I live in hope of a full-blown professional outing for it one day; and the TV series is currently under option, so who knows what that might lead to?

On radio, I’d love to tackle James Hilton’s Lost Horizon whose story of a hidden secret oasis of calm dedicated to preserving everything good and valuable in a world gone mad and heading for destruction is astonishingly prescient and relevant. There’s definitely a mountain or two to climb there.

Greydog: Bert, many thanks again for being with us, and good fortune in all your endeavours. We can pay only in raw chicken carcasses, which we have to steal from our large, hungry dogs, so your remittance may take a while…

BC: Thanks for asking me to do this; I’ve enjoyed it. Pre-chewed raw chicken will be very acceptable: pay me at once if convenient. If inconvenient, pay me all the same.



* We interviewed actor Dan Starkey here http://greydogtales.com/blog/doctor-who-and-the-detective-its-the-starkey-stratagem/ and Scott Handcock, the Big Finish audio producer, here: http://greydogtales.com/blog/come-freely-go-safely-dracula-returns-scott-handcock-rules/


You can follow up on Bert Coules’s work below:

His website: www.bertcoules.co.uk

BBC audio Sherlock Holmes website: www.merrisonholmes.com

His book about the BBC series: http://merrisonholmes.com/book.php

“The most engaging and informative non-fiction Sherlock Holmes book I’ve read in many long years.” Charles Prepolec, writer, editor, Sherlockian commentator.



greydog, aka John Linwood Grant, is currently editing a two volume anthology Sherlock Holmes and the Occult Detectives for Belanger Books due out early 2020. His Holmes pastiches can be found in a number of other recent anthologies.

 

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Sheep, Dates, and Ghost Stories at Christmas

In which we prod a forthcoming festival, and bring you Jerome K Jerome’s dissection of Christmas Eve ghosts. Yes, it is, for many in the West, that time of year again – the run-up to Christmas. And the traditional time for ghost stories…

It’s an odd combination. Whilst large swathes of the global population sensibly increase their output of plastic elves and angels for export (or ignore the whole shebang), other minds are filled with images of snow, fir trees, nativity scenes and seasonal sundries. All very strange, given that it’s usually raining, and the birth of Christ probably occurred around September/October.

If you didn’t know, much of the evidence suggests an autumn birth. The Bible has shepherds and sheep wandering around, even though open grazing dropped off by the end of October, and the Quran records Mary/Maryam, overcome by the pains of childbirth, as being provided with a stream of water from which she could drink, and a palm tree which she could shake so ripe dates would fall (dates are ripe for picking in late August and September).

As for spirits and lost souls, Allhallowtide is long past, and the Bible doesn’t approve of ghosts anyway, so there’s really no good Christian/Abrahamic reason for supernatural tales to be in vogue at this time of year. Which leaves the obvious source of this tradition as simply ‘what you did when it was cold, wet and dark outside’. A Northern European habit of cramming your family and your animals into the hut, getting tired of Uncle Sven’s jokes about root vegetables, and launching into ghost stories to change the subject.

UNCLE SVEN: And then there was this turnip, yah? It–

YOU: But wait! What is the lonesome cry outside, that moaning on the wind. Might it be the spirit of–

MOTHER: I locked your father in the shed. He’s been making eyes at the goat again.

Nevertheless, we don’t dislike a bit of tradition. Rather than list a load of supernatural Christmas tales today, though, we’d rather share the observations of that wonderful writer Jerome K Jerome on the ghosts of Christmas, taken from his wry and satirical book Told After Supper (The Leadenhall Press, 1891). Every reader and writer of supernatural stories should know this piece…


TOLD AFTER SUPPER

Introductory

 

courtesy jerome k jerome society

 

It was Christmas Eve.

I begin this way because it is the proper, orthodox, respectable way to begin, and I have been brought up in a proper, orthodox, respectable way, and taught to always do the proper, orthodox, respectable thing; and the habit clings to me.

Of course, as a mere matter of information it is quite unnecessary to mention the date at all. The experienced reader knows it was Christmas Eve, without my telling him. It always is Christmas Eve, in a ghost story.

Christmas Eve is the ghosts’ great gala night. On Christmas Eve they hold their annual fete. On Christmas Eve everybody in Ghostland who IS anybody—or rather, speaking of ghosts, one should say, I suppose, every nobody who IS any nobody—comes out to show himself or herself, to see and to be seen, to promenade about and display their winding-sheets and grave-clothes to each other, to criticise one another’s style, and sneer at one another’s complexion.

“Christmas Eve parade,” as I expect they themselves term it, is a function, doubtless, eagerly prepared for and looked forward to throughout Ghostland, especially the swagger set, such as the murdered Barons, the crime-stained Countesses, and the Earls who came over with the Conqueror, and assassinated their relatives, and died raving mad.

Hollow moans and fiendish grins are, one may be sure, energetically practised up. Blood-curdling shrieks and marrow-freezing gestures are probably rehearsed for weeks beforehand. Rusty chains and gory daggers are over-hauled, and put into good working order; and sheets and shrouds, laid carefully by from the previous year’s show, are taken down and shaken out, and mended, and aired.

Oh, it is a stirring night in Ghostland, the night of December the twenty-fourth!

Ghosts never come out on Christmas night itself, you may have noticed. Christmas Eve, we suspect, has been too much for them; they are not used to excitement. For about a week after Christmas Eve, the gentlemen ghosts, no doubt, feel as if they were all head, and go about making solemn resolutions to themselves that they will stop in next Christmas Eve; while lady spectres are contradictory and snappish, and liable to burst into tears and leave the room hurriedly on being spoken to, for no perceptible cause whatever.

Ghosts with no position to maintain—mere middle-class ghosts— occasionally, I believe, do a little haunting on off-nights: on All-hallows Eve, and at Midsummer; and some will even run up for a mere local event—to celebrate, for instance, the anniversary of the hanging of somebody’s grandfather, or to prophesy a misfortune.

He does love prophesying a misfortune, does the average British ghost. Send him out to prognosticate trouble to somebody, and he is happy. Let him force his way into a peaceful home, and turn the whole house upside down by foretelling a funeral, or predicting a bankruptcy, or hinting at a coming disgrace, or some other terrible disaster, about which nobody in their senses would want to know sooner than they could possibly help, and the prior knowledge of which can serve no useful purpose whatsoever, and he feels that he is combining duty with pleasure. He would never forgive himself if anybody in his family had a trouble and he had not been there for a couple of months beforehand, doing silly tricks on the lawn, or balancing himself on somebody’s bed-rail.

parody jerome k jerome
proper parody from jerome k jerome

Then there are, besides, the very young, or very conscientious ghosts with a lost will or an undiscovered number weighing heavy on their minds, who will haunt steadily all the year round; and also the fussy ghost, who is indignant at having been buried in the dust-bin or in the village pond, and who never gives the parish a single night’s quiet until somebody has paid for a first-class funeral for him.

But these are the exceptions. As I have said, the average orthodox ghost does his one turn a year, on Christmas Eve, and is satisfied.

Why on Christmas Eve, of all nights in the year, I never could myself understand. It is invariably one of the most dismal of nights to be out in—cold, muddy, and wet. And besides, at Christmas time, everybody has quite enough to put up with in the way of a houseful of living relations, without wanting the ghosts of any dead ones mooning about the place, I am sure.

There must be something ghostly in the air of Christmas—something about the close, muggy atmosphere that draws up the ghosts, like the dampness of the summer rains brings out the frogs and snails.

And not only do the ghosts themselves always walk on Christmas Eve, but live people always sit and talk about them on Christmas Eve. Whenever five or six English-speaking people meet round a fire on Christmas Eve, they start telling each other ghost stories. Nothing satisfies us on Christmas Eve but to hear each other tell authentic anecdotes about spectres. It is a genial, festive season, and we love to muse upon graves, and dead bodies, and murders, and blood.

There is a good deal of similarity about our ghostly experiences; but this of course is not our fault but the fault of ghosts, who never will try any new performances, but always will keep steadily to old, safe business. The consequence is that, when you have been at one Christmas Eve party, and heard six people relate their adventures with spirits, you do not require to hear any more ghost stories. To listen to any further ghost stories after that would be like sitting out two farcical comedies, or taking in two comic journals; the repetition would become wearisome.

There is always the young man who was, one year, spending the Christmas at a country house, and, on Christmas Eve, they put him to sleep in the west wing. Then in the middle of the night, the room door quietly opens and somebody—generally a lady in her night-dress—walks slowly in, and comes and sits on the bed. The young man thinks it must be one of the visitors, or some relative of the family, though he does not remember having previously seen her, who, unable to go to sleep, and feeling lonesome, all by herself, has come into his room for a chat. He has no idea it is a ghost: he is so unsuspicious. She does not speak, however; and, when he looks again, she is gone!

The young man relates the circumstance at the breakfast-table next morning, and asks each of the ladies present if it were she who was his visitor. But they all assure him that it was not, and the host, who has grown deadly pale, begs him to say no more about the matter, which strikes the young man as a singularly strange request.

After breakfast the host takes the young man into a corner, and explains to him that what he saw was the ghost of a lady who had been murdered in that very bed, or who had murdered somebody else there—it does not really matter which: you can be a ghost by murdering somebody else or by being murdered yourself, whichever you prefer. The murdered ghost is, perhaps, the more popular; but, on the other hand, you can frighten people better if you are the murdered one, because then you can show your wounds and do groans.

a peculiar portrait of jerome

Then there is the sceptical guest—it is always ‘the guest’ who gets let in for this sort of thing, by-the-bye. A ghost never thinks much of his own family: it is ‘the guest’ he likes to haunt who after listening to the host’s ghost story, on Christmas Eve, laughs at it, and says that he does not believe there are such things as ghosts at all; and that he will sleep in the haunted chamber that very night, if they will let him.

Everybody urges him not to be reckless, but he persists in his foolhardiness, and goes up to the Yellow Chamber (or whatever colour the haunted room may be) with a light heart and a candle, and wishes them all good-night, and shuts the door.

Next morning he has got snow-white hair.

He does not tell anybody what he has seen: it is too awful.

There is also the plucky guest, who sees a ghost, and knows it is a ghost, and watches it, as it comes into the room and disappears through the wainscot, after which, as the ghost does not seem to be coming back, and there is nothing, consequently, to be gained by stopping awake, he goes to sleep.

He does not mention having seen the ghost to anybody, for fear of frightening them—some people are so nervous about ghosts,—but determines to wait for the next night, and see if the apparition appears again.

It does appear again, and, this time, he gets out of bed, dresses himself and does his hair, and follows it; and then discovers a secret passage leading from the bedroom down into the beer-cellar,- -a passage which, no doubt, was not unfrequently made use of in the bad old days of yore.

After him comes the young man who woke up with a strange sensation in the middle of the night, and found his rich bachelor uncle standing by his bedside. The rich uncle smiled a weird sort of smile and vanished. The young man immediately got up and looked at his watch. It had stopped at half-past four, he having forgotten to wind it.

He made inquiries the next day, and found that, strangely enough, his rich uncle, whose only nephew he was, had married a widow with eleven children at exactly a quarter to twelve, only two days ago,

The young man does not attempt to explain the circumstance. All he does is to vouch for the truth of his narrative.

And, to mention another case, there is the gentleman who is returning home late at night, from a Freemasons’ dinner, and who, noticing a light issuing from a ruined abbey, creeps up, and looks through the keyhole. He sees the ghost of a ‘grey sister’ kissing the ghost of a brown monk, and is so inexpressibly shocked and frightened that he faints on the spot, and is discovered there the next morning, lying in a heap against the door, still speechless, and with his faithful latch-key clasped tightly in his hand.

All these things happen on Christmas Eve, they are all told of on Christmas Eve. For ghost stories to be told on any other evening than the evening of the twenty-fourth of December would be impossible in English society as at present regulated. Therefore, in introducing the sad but authentic ghost stories that follow hereafter, I feel that it is unnecessary to inform the student of Anglo-Saxon literature that the date on which they were told and on which the incidents took place was—Christmas Eve.

Nevertheless, I do so.



Pick up the book if you don’t already have a copy. It’s also freely available from places like Project Gutenberg. You can find out more about his writings here:

http://greydogtales.com/blog/jerome-k-jerome-ghosts-dystopias/



Exciting Other News

Despite the loss of our previous publisher to a heart attack earlier in the year, the occult detective madness continues, with the bumper relaunch issue of Occult Detective Magazine (formerly Occult Detective Quarterly) out now! Don’t miss this 200 page special, packed with brand new fiction, articles, reviews and art – click one of the links below:

odm #6 on amazon uk

odm #6 on amazon us

 

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THE UNNAMED COUNTRY & THE GENRE IN THE BOTTLE

”The critics slap labels on you and then expect you to talk inside their terms.”

Doris Lessing

What is ‘genre’? Today, a new collection, or mosaic novel, along with the nature of  ‘real’ versus ‘imaginary’ writing. We welcome back one of our occasional guests, Paul StJohn Mackintosh, who brings praise for Jeffrey Thomas’s The Unnamed Country, and then segues into M John Harrison and the question of writing as art.

Continue reading THE UNNAMED COUNTRY & THE GENRE IN THE BOTTLE

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Literature, lurchers and life