UPDATED OCTOBER 2019. Did you ever wonder why you couldn’t find the lurcher bit you wanted on greydogtales, dear listener? No? We’ll tell you anyway. A while back, we wrote something we called Lurchers for Beginners, purely for fun. It drew on years of observing just how weird they could be at at times, far better than fiction. And things went a bit mad. As the series progressed, we found that we had no idea where we put most of it. So, we now present the only even vaguely organised list of our longdog-type articles in existence – the Secret Index.

Our lurchery pack do crop up in many other posts on the site, but often intermingled in articles with curious fiction or art, as the mood takes us. The ones below are pretty much all-canine terrain. We hope you still enjoy the series – especially as there’ll probably be a new chapter next month.

N.B. Posts are numbered purely to confuse, and are given with links which may well work. Random titles probably indicate that we forgot where we were in the series at the time.

N.B. again. Every dog is different, and you don’t get many who do all the odd things we mention. But boy, have we had some weird ones – and loved every one of them…

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THE SECRET INDEX

(Not to be shared with spaniels)

1) LURCHERS FOR BEGINNERS 1

http://greydogtales.com/blog/lurchers-for-beginners/

The viral introductory chapter, which set the whole thing in motion.

“A lurcher is a cross between:

i) a dog which runs too fast for you and chases everything (a sighthound), and
ii) a dog which runs slightly more slowly but still chases everything (a working dog).

“A longdog is a cross between two sighthounds, which means you don’t have a chance.”

2) LURCHERS FOR BEGINNERS 2

this time it’s personal

Where we introduced advanced concepts, such as THE LEAD.

3) THE BATTLE OF DORK’S DRIFT

http://greydogtales.com/blog/lurcher-v-squirrel-the-battle-of-dorks-drift/

The neverending nightmare of Squirrel Wars.

4) WE WERE GARDENERS

http://greydogtales.com/blog/lurchers-for-beginners-3-we-were-gardeners/

Why you don’t have a nice garden any more. An article we should have had sponsored by an Artificial Grass company, if we’d thought of it at the time.

5) THE REASON TO RESCUE

one lunge at a time

The importance of rescues. We use Lurcher Link in West Yorkshire, but in this post we also talked about Lurcher SOS

6) LURCHERS FOR BEGINNERS 4

http://greydogtales.com/blog/common-lurcher-questions-its-lurchers-for-beginners-4/

Bad answers to good lurcher questions. Not only are we not veterinarians, we’re not even coherent some times.

7) DOGS, DELAYS AND DISTRACTIONS

http://greydogtales.com/blog/lurchers-for-writers-a-tragedy-in-too-many-parts/

Why I can’t get anything done in a houseful of dogs, and thanks to them I’m not a best-selling author.

8) THE DJANGO CLOCK CONUNDRUM

end of the year review

Pups having fun, and that Django timetable which rules our days.

9) IT’S JUST NOT FUR!

it’s just not fur

Even includes proper bits, plus vaguely useful advice about your lurcher’s smooth or wiry coat, and the things you will find in it.

10) DAFFODIL WARS

carnacki and other bulbs

Quite simply, Django’s daffodil addiction.

11) TRAINING YOUR HUMAN

training your human

Handy hints, but not for people. Humans need training far more than dogs, and it’s easy with our pull-out guide. WARNING – Do not attempt to pull this guide out.

12) TRAINING YOUR HUMAN AGAIN

training your human part 2

More secrets on training your human, including the importance of communication. Not theirs, obviously.

13) LURCHERS FOR BEGINNERS 8

science at your fingertips

Utter nonsense, if you ask us. The thoughts they really have.

14) BITEY-FACE

http://greydogtales.com/blog/lurcher-for-beginners-9-bitey-face/

The Great Game explained and illustrated, with some great action photos of Bitey-Face in the raw.

15) LURCHERS FOR BEGINNERS 10

http://greydogtales.com/blog/janet-and-john-go-lurcher-mad-eventually/

How we started rescuing dogs many many years ago, and why we are now poor.

16) LURCHERS FOR BEGINNERS 11

ladybirds and longdogs

Another guest dog joins us.

17) HISTORY FOR LONGDOGS

http://greydogtales.com/blog/the-utterly-true-history-of-the-lurcher/

A series of vital historical dates which the repressive paramilitary wing of the Kennel Club banned from being taught in schools. The people must know the truth!

18) POO!

http://greydogtales.com/blog/lurchers-beginners-12-poo/

This really needs no explanation. The delights of poop, and our special guide to consistency. A chart now used across the UK. Probably.

19) A LABRADOR IN THE MIST

http://greydogtales.com/blog/little-juggernaut-memoirs-lurcher-hell/

In remembrance of our beloved non-lurcher, Twiglet, who survived for years in lurcher territory.

20) THE MATING GAME

http://greydogtales.com/blog/training-human-mating-game/

How to stop humans having a love life, and make sure they’re focussed on you (the lurcher).

21) LURCHERS FOR BEGINNERS 15

this water tastes funny

Pups at the seaside. A lot of sand, and a lot of water that just doesn’t seem right.

22) LURCHERS FOR BEGINNERS 16

two years down the road

A round-up of some of the other photos we’ve used of various lurchery wonders – ours, plus those of friends and acquaintances.

23) LURCHER RESCUES ARE GO!

Our thoughts (occasionally useful ones) on what to consider if you feel like re-homing a lurcher.

Lurchers for Beginners: Lurcher Rescues are Go!

24) LURCHERS FOR BEGINNERS: WE IS SNIFFING

The nose has it…

Lurchers for Beginners: We Is Sniffing

25) THOSE LURCHERS IN THE MIST

More of our adventures on the North Sea coast, with explicit photos!

THOSE LURCHERS IN THE MIST

26) THE HUMAN MYTH

Examining the strange world of the tall pink ones…

LURCHERS FOR BEGINNERS: THE HUMAN MYTH

27) LURCHERS FOR BEGINNERS: THE RAW TRUTH

Everything you didn’t want to know about how we feed our little donkeys the raw way.

Lurchers for Beginners: The Raw Truth

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We have no idea what Part 28 will be about, but then we never do…

Today, in the spirit of Joseph Priestley’s scientific experiments, we offer two books which are dark enough, but not quite the usual type of dark. Black Earth by Andy Paciorek, and The Arte Mephitic by Phil Breach & Russell Olson. Not a hack’n’slash bundle, then, but quite different kinds of horror – terrifying Slavic myths and folklore, then stylish alchemical madness drawing on Lovecraft and Ashton Smith.

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The Fertile Black Earth

 

Below, the wet black earth shows through,

With sudden cries the wind is pitted,

The more haphazard, the more true

The poetry that sobs its heart out.

Boris Pasternak, 1912

Black Earth: A Field Guide to the Slavic Otherworld, written and illustrated by Andy Paciorek (one of the founders of the Folk Horror Revival) is a gem. In two hundred pages, you are introduced to almost everything you would want to know about the strange world of Slavic lore. The pantheon of Gods; spirits of field, forest, water and mountains; sorcerers, witches, vampires and much more, each brought out by some one hundred or more striking and intricate drawings by Andy. Nor does the text disappoint in terms of detail.

If you’re not familiar with the area, these are monstrosities and tales from the lands of the Russians and the Ukrainians, the Czechs and the Poles, the Serbs and the Croats. Where possible, the author has also provided alternate names and versions for myths with similarities across this geography.

So you can wander uneasily through the world of the vampire, dhampir and upior, or feel worried at what you might find in the fields of Slavic grain. We particularly liked Lady Midday, the Slavic noon demon Poludnica, whose attentions can vary from teasing to madness, and the deeply unpleasant Rye Mother. And of course, you will find the more well known Baba Yaga, the rusalka and Koschei the Deathless here as well. Even Rasputin.

For Folklorists, it’s a great one-stop resource. For readers and writers, it’s full of vengeful tales and inspirations, with many little-known kinds of horror within. Monstrosities of which you’ve never heard; concepts out of which you could get a whole novel.

TRIVIA CORNER: The Russian name for black earth is chernozem – this is a very dark, very fertile type of soil, ideal for agriculture.. One of the largest chernozem zones in the world is the Eurasian steppe which extends from Croatia to northeast Ukraine, and then runs across southern Russia into Siberia.

And you can get hold of Black Earth here:

http://www.blurb.co.uk/b/8125531-black-earth

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A Breath of Foul Air

For something somewhat different, though also drawing on mythology and the past, our second offering, The Arte Mephitic is a cautionary tale, told in the style of an 18th century chapbook. Inspired by the Mythos created by H. P. Lovecraft and expanded upon by Clark Ashton Smith, The Arte Mephitic tells the story of a dark wizard bent on achieving immortality by any means. Featuring creatures from the world of Lovecraft, as well as traditional European folklore, The Arte Mephitic explores the darkness that dwells in the heart of man.

This is a marvellous little book, which oozes style, short but perfectly formed and very much a collector’s item. The poem itself is illustrated with woodcuts mimicking those found in the pages of the penny press of the 1700s. We’ll happily go with this review comment we noticed elsewhere, which sums it up nicely:

“Excellent long-form poem chronicling the quest of an alchemist in his hunt for immortality. His method is unique, to grow himself an organ of immortality infused with primal matter from the Lovecraftian deity Ubbo-Sathla. To this end he employs all manner of demons and homunculi as his seekers and surgeons, learning that legendary lesson of Icarus, that one should never reach too far in their aims. Highly recommended to Lovecraft fans and metrical, rhyming poetry enthusiasts.”

Michael Adams

All the talk of ‘mephitic’, the foul airs engendered by alchemical work, reminds us of other classic examples. Medical texts of the 1700s were known for their references to mephitic vapours, often a term for belching – and things that blow out of the other end – when illness struck.

And some curative waters from mineral springs were also described as mephitic – the stench of sulphur, for example, is noticeable in water from under the Harrogate Pump Room, which was once a popular tonic.

Fortunately, we were all saved when Joseph Priestley (1733 – 1804) made the transition from alchemy to chemistry and discovered a non-mephitic gas, as outlined in his six-volume work Experiments and Observations on Different Kinds of Air (1774–86).

Priestley called the new substance “dephlogisticated air” and described it as “five or six times better than common air for the purpose of respiration, inflammation, and, I believe, every other use of common atmospherical air.” We know it as oxygen gas (O2).

You can have a look at The Arte Mephitic and its associated wares here:

https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/527713174/the-arte-mephitic

We are lucky little dogs, and already have all those nice bits, including the beautifully produced and illustrated 12 page graphic pamphlet-story, The Blue Pearl.

We also covered the initial campaign for this project last year, with more mention of Clark Ashton Smith’s Ubbo-Sathla and other roots to the theme:

http://greydogtales.com/blog/survive-mephitis-clark-ashton-smith-arte-mephitic/

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Hunting Geraniums

Finally, it would be a bit of an own goal if we didn’t mention greydog’s new collection at some point, but we’ll keep it brief. A Persistence of Geraniums and other worrying tales is out in print now, and currently getting five star reviews. Tales of hauntings, possessions, murder and madness in the dark corners of the Edwardian period. Including the dreaded Deptford Assassin, Mr Edwin Dry, a dark folk-myth from Suffolk, and more. It’s also delightfully illustrated by Paul (Mutartis) Boswell.

Amazon UK: http://amzn.eu/dknZvPs

Amazon US: http://a.co/3Ax8qzD

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May the Autumn Equinox swell your pumpkins and harden off your turnips ready for the pot (or fanciful carving, in both cases)….

P.S. We weren’t here for a day or so this week because the server fell over and hurt its ankle, apparently.

For well over a century, people have sought to capture the mood, the spirit, of landscapes through photography – and in doing so have brought new eyes to old places (we would use the phrase psychogeographic photography, but that sounds too complicated). Landscape and lens are two long-standing partners in the fields of Folklore and Folk Horror, but for rather different purposes.

Continue reading A DARK, SUBTLE LENS: PHOTOGRAPHY OF THE FOLK HORROR REVIVAL →

August Derleth, Basil Copper, an odd detective of whom you might not have heard, and more. Not content with simply drifting around Sherlock Holmes, J G Reeder, Thomas Carnacki and other classic detectives, we thought that we ought to bring you news of a whole heap of stories about Solar Pons, ‘The Sherlock Holmes of Praed Street’. You’ll hear more about Solar himself later, but first, we couldn’t resist the allure of Praed Street itself, because it has some interesting real and literary trivia surrounding it.

Praed Street Blues

Continue reading The Sherlock Holmes of Praed Street Exposed →